A Half-Giant of a Headache
by Story Please
Summary: Albus Dumbledore has a seemingly simple task for Hagrid: stop and retrieve Snape when he goes too far. But even Hagrid's limits will be tested when he finds out just how far the Potions master is willing to go to follow the Headmaster's orders.


**A Half-Giant of a Headache**

"Do you know what this is, Rubeus?" Albus asked, handing the half-giant a small, fuzzy object.

"Why, blow me over! It's a rabbit's foot! An' it's bright pink!" Hagrid boomed, looking immensely pleased with the gift.

"It's not just any rabbit's foot," Albus replied, looking somewhat sad. "You know that Severus has an important part to play in the struggle of the Light, so I need you to do me a favor."

"Ennethin for yeh, Headmasteh!" came the reply as Hagrid dangled the tiny thing between two sausage-like fingers on his trash-can-lid sized hands.

"Every time Severus' emotional levels go above a certain predetermined acceptable level, I have set the rabbit's foot to glow green. At that point, it will tug against you in the direction you need to take to find him."

"An' when I find 'im?" Hagrid looked thoughtful, as though wondering if it would glow while he was watching it.

"Carry him away or get him to go with you. The reason or method does not matter. You simply need to get him out of the situation he is in and to an appropriate place to calm down...or recuperate, if he is injured."

Hagrid frowned. "Injured? By what?"

"Ah, that is between Severus and myself. Of course, should he choose to tell you, that is his prerogative. You understand, don't you, Rubeus?" Albus' eyes twinkled at this and he gave the half-giant a kindly squeeze on the wrist.

"Of course, that's no problem, Headmaster!"

"Just be sure to wear it on you at all times. You never know when he'll...er...need you." Albus chuckled at this and walked off towards the castle with a final wave.

* * *

It took less than twenty-four hours before Hagrid found himself being dragged out of bed in the middle of the night to find Snape shouting angrily at a pair of sixth year students who had apparently been snogging in a hidden passageway. "C'mon, Professor," Hagrid said, grabbing the thin Potions master by the arm. "You two. Get on will yeh, or I'll be sure teh tell the Headmaster."

He looked as fierce as he could despite wearing hippogriff print pajamas and being very tired, and judging from how quickly the two students hurried along, Hagrid was fairly certain he'd succeeded.

"Unhand me, Hagrid!" Snape hissed, but he might as well have tried to muscle his way out of the grip of the giant squid.

"Can't," Hagrid growled back. "I've got me orders."

And with that, he dragged Snape unceremoniously behind him until they were back in Hagrid's shack. Snape sat at the table, his arms crossed with his face in a barely-contained pout, as Hagrid bustled around and began to brew a pot of tea.

"What is with the attire, then?" Snape finally spoke, his fingers tapping on the table impatiently, as though wishing to be anywhere but sitting across from the massive half-giant.

"Yeh like 'em?" Hagrid grinned, despite himself. "Couldn't pass 'em up when I learned they made 'em in my size."

"You don't say," Severus replied, sneering slightly.

Hagrid simply grinned and pulled out the rock cakes. He didn't care that Snape was in such a foul mood. He was very skilled at being the bigger man, both literally and figuratively.

"It's Dumbledore, isn't it?" Severus asked bitterly, after a long pause. "He made you, didn't he?"

"Dumbledore don't make me do enethin'," Hagrid replied, setting a rock cake in front of the Potions master with a heavy clunk. "You have a lot on yer plate, Professor. Sometimes yeh get too carried away. And when yeh do, I'll be there to get ya."

Snape took one look at the rock cake and sighed. "Are you trying to kill me? That thing is made of granite."

"The trick is yeh dunk it in yer tea," Hagrid replied, "It'll soften up right quick."

Snape looked dubious at the rock cake but tried Hagrid's suggestion and took a tiny bite.

"Hmm," he said, after making a somewhat extended production of chewing and swallowing, "well, it's not horrible. Besides, I didn't eat much for dinner."

The excuse made, he tore into the rest of the rock cake and drank more than half the pot of tea. Hagrid didn't mind. He merely sat on the other side of the table in his large, tailor-made chair and sipped his tea with a knowing look on his face.

Fang patrolled under the table, his nose sniffing for wayward crumbs, and Hagrid almost laughed at how Snape jumped when the dog pressed his cold, wet nose into his leg.

"Ah, 'e likes yeh!" Hagrid boomed as Fang wagged his tail and head bumped Snape's hand.

"Ah...very nice, I suppose," Snape said awkwardly. Luckily for Fang, Snape seemed to know how to give very good head scritches. Hagrid noticed how Snape's eyes softened when he was petting the hound, and how a small smile pulled his lips up in an almost unheard-of manner.

Soon enough, though, Fang heard a noise in the corner and went to investigate, his tummy pats all but forgotten.

"Thank you for having me, Hagrid," Snape said, standing at last. "I appreciate your...intervention."

"Twas my pleasure, Snape."

"Call me Severus." The Potions master held out a long, thin hand.

"Hagrid's fine," Hagrid said, shaking it and smiling toothily at the palpable relief in Severus' face. "Only folks what call me _Rubeus_ are the Headmaster and me Da."

"Good evening, Hagrid," Severus said, bowing slightly before closing the door behind him.

Hagrid watched him disappear up the hill to the castle through the window before extinguishing the lights and heading back to bed.

* * *

Hagrid was pulled onto the floor by the insistent pull of the rabbit's foot on his wrist. Immediately, he was up and full of alarm. It had never done anything like that before.

Hagrid threw on his jacket and grabbed his pink umbrella. It was pouring freezing rain outside, but Hagrid went anyway, glad for his huge, thick body and its resistance to the cold.

When he reached the gates of Hogwarts, the pulling abruptly stopped. At first, he saw nothing, but with a shower of sparks from his umbrella, Hagrid could see the slick form of a body lying on the ground just inside of the gates.

It was Severus.

He was soaked to the bone with rain, but even in the dim light, Hagrid could see that his leg was twisted at an odd angle and the sleeve of his black jacket was dark with blood. Severus was face down, unmoving except for the slight rise and fall of his breath.

Hagrid tucked his umbrella into his belt, picked Severus up and cradled his unconscious body in his large arms.

He ran all the way to the Hogwarts Infirmary.

"He'll be fine, Rubeus. Go, get some sleep." Dumbledore's voice was kind, but they were not a request.

"I just...I wanna help the poor bloke. 'e's just a kid, really, yeh know?" Hagrid looked over at the young Potions professor lying very still under the starched sheets of the hospital bed.

"He's old enough to know the risks," Dumbledore replied reassuringly. "Besides, he has you to come for him if he needs it. You've really been quite the helper these past few months, Rubeus. Stop by my office tomorrow. I should be receiving those nifflers you asked for a few months ago."

'Really?" Hagrid's eyes widened with excitement. "There's nothing cuter than a niffler, 'cept maybe a baby dragon, but I don't s'pose you have one of those lying around."

"I'm not _that_ forgetful in my old age, Rubeus," Dumbledore chuckled.

Hagrid stepped over to where Severus lay and placed a trash-can-lid sized hand on the professor's shoulder. "Don't you worry now, Severus. Yer safe."

Severus made a small painful noise in the back of his throat and shifted slightly before growing still again.

"Good evening then, Headmaster," Hagrid said, bowing his head in respect.

"Good evening," Albus replied, his eyes twinkling merrily.

But Hagrid found that he couldn't sleep until the sun crested the tops of the Dark Forest's trees. He slowly stroked the rabbit's foot where it lay strung against his wrist.

"Just a kid, really," Hagrid mumbled, holding it tightly as he slipped slowly into sleep.


End file.
